How can I love you more?

This is the question that came to me today. I realised; until now my question was “How can I get more love?” And what conditions need to be satisfied before I’m ready to love.

I’ve been asking my partner to give me more love and attention. To give me safety. And only then I’d be open to love.

Now, my question is “How can I express my love? How can I love you more?”

And I see how everyone, everyone, gives me a chance to love more. When my children are acting out and fighting, they are giving me an opportunity to love them more.

When my partner is upset with me and goes into blaming me, he is giving me an opportunity to love him more.

How come I have been missing this?!

How grateful I am that I’ve realised the question I choose to live with now.

If I’m standing here with my heart full of tenderness towards this tiny tree, surely I have enough love for my partner and children, no matter what they are doing?

Instead of demanding they take more responsibility for their actions, I can just love them more. Wow. Such a sense of expansion, of freedom, of connection.

Maybe one day I’ll just cry myself out and become a little puddle in the bush…

I sense the ego is coming back “Yes! If I can love through hurt and disconnection, I’ll become such a wonderful woman! Everyone will see how wonderful I am and will love me.”

My ego tries to use everything to its advantage.

I remind myself “I’m loveable right now. I don’t have to achieve anything, do anything, be anything to be loved more.” Ahhhh…