Do you feel more like mates than lovers with your partner?
Maybe craving affection and romance. Remembering the old days…
Why does passion die?
Read on to learn how to seduce your partner into love…
What creates the attraction?
I believe a large part of it is about our opposite polarities. The more polarised our magnets are, the stronger the attraction. David Deida and Michaela Boehm talk a lot about polarising our magnets. Read more about David Deida’s 3 stages of relationships here.
The problem with long-term relationships is that we become too similar in our essence. Quite often I hear couples say:
“We are more like flatmates now, we function together, take care of our kids. It’s like our to-do list and responsibilities took over. There is no space for love and playfulness. It feels deadening. Actually, it’s scary and joyless.”
- To enjoy blissful lovemaking and
- Create lasting, passionate love …
…you need to activate your opposite magnets and bring more polarity into your relationship. Polarity is the secret sauce that will keep your love alive, will keep you excited about being with your partner and will be a source of variety, magic, and exploration.
“There is nothing that so arouses, supports and sustains the normal sex-passion in a man as for a strongly-sexed woman to fill her aura toward him with a strong, steady, self-controlled appeal—tender, loving, admiring, yet deliciously sensuous and aesthetically voluptuous; pure, yet deep, warm, alluring.”– J William Lloyd
I find that nowadays we are confused about what it means to be a woman, what it means to be a man.
We have too much on our plate and disconnect from our innate nature. We become too similar in our energy and that’s how the passion goes away. That’s how we become mates, not lovers.
Pretty sad, right?
To create lasting passion, we need to understand masculine & feminine energies and practise creating more polarity in the relationship.
This is an active practice, it won’t just happen by itself.
If you feel the spark is gone with your partner:
- It’s not because you need a new partner.
- It’s because you don’t actively practise polarising your energies.
To simplify, one partner needs to be the driving, directional energy, and the other needs to embody flow, openness, and emotional vulnerability.
If, as a woman, you want a man who is stable, reliable, and able to love you through all your emotional states…
…then you need to bring more of your feminine essence to seduce him into love and awaken his strong masculine side.
Questions for the masculine energy:
“How can I be more present? How can I be more conscious?”
Questions for the feminine energy:
“How can I open up more? How can I love more?”
And it’s always fun to swap the energies and consciously play a different role.
I’m not talking here about your life in general, I’m specifically talking about sexual interactions with your partner. Of course in work life, we all need to know how to focus and direct. To rest, we all need to let go and flow.
All of us have both masculine and feminine energy.
- direct, focused, penetrating, solid, purpose-driven, and structured
- based on values and thrives on achieving set goals
- at times in our lives, we all need masculine energy to achieve our goals, complete projects and cut through lies and damaging emotional states
- fluid, wild or soft, in the moment, changeable, intuitive, love-driven, and expressive
- based on emotional states and thrives on relating to others
- men and women need to have access to the feminine energy to create more love, care for others, and build harmonious relationships
As women, it is healthy and fulfilling for us to spend more time in our feminine energy, especially when we are relating to our romantic partner.
For men, it is healthy and fulfilling to be more often in his masculine energy, especially when he is relating to his beloved woman.
That said, it can be very exciting and rewarding to sometimes reverse the energies and explore the other side of ourselves and our partners. This can feel as if you have a relationship with two different people, and then your love life will never be boring.
For the feminine side to uncover herself in her full beauty, she needs to feel safe and supported by the masculine side.
To avoid the dependency on our partners, it’s a great idea to develop our own inner masculine side so that our feminine side can flourish.
A woman with a developed inner masculine aspect has the capacity to dive into her deep femininity when she chooses to, becoming fluid, wild or soft, and magnetic. Such a woman will arouse strong masculinity in her partner. She will be attracted to men with mature masculine qualities and will feel cherished by her man.
If a woman is not in touch with her feminine essence, she might tend to spend more time functioning in her masculine mode. A man of such a woman is likely to function more in his feminine energy and stop developing his masculine qualities. If she is looking for a partner, she will probably attract a softer, indecisive, and emotional man who is immature in his masculine side.
This kind of relationship is usually out of balance and keeps both partners dissatisfied on a deeper level. She wants her partner to give her stability and provide a space where she feels safe to surrender, flow, and express her emotions.
This is the deepest yearning of the feminine.
However, she feels like a driving force in such a relationship. This causes her man to feel unworthy and weak, overwhelmed by her emotions and dominating attitude.
How to create more attraction
- Women need to connect more with their radiance, aliveness and sensuality. They need to learn how to allow the emotions to flow through their bodies.
- The most difficult part is dropping the protection to allow our partner to see into our emotional world. I call this the practice of Emotional Vulnerability.
- For example: Quite often we express anger and frustration. If we stay with these emotions, we might discover that underneath anger is hurt. Anger is often is a defense mechanism. So the invitation is to drop the anger and express hurt. It is more difficult to express hurt because it requires vulnerability and letting go of control.
- Men need to step more into their sense of purpose and direction and learn how to be calm and present in the face of an emotional storm that feminine energy and life can bring up.
- In the same-sex relationships usually, one partner takes on more of a masculine energy and need to step more into the sense of purpose. The other partner usually takes on the radiance and sensuality pole of the energy.
- To simplify, I’m using men and women here, more accurately would be to use masculine and feminine polarity, as both men and women have masculine and feminine energies.
- And yes, there are some women who naturally have more masculine energy and some men who naturally got more feminine energy. Bringing more polarity applies to all of the relationship variations.
How can you connect to your Feminine Essence on a regular basis?
Here are the 7 fundamentals that will help you.
To connect to our bodies, we need to create a routine of movement that brings us joy. Are you dancing, or practicing any other kind of movement that makes you feel excited, and ready to jump out of bed? Think of it as movement rather than exercise. The thought of exercise can be draining, and that is the opposite of what we need.
Yes, beautiful, yes. Healthy eating is so important for love.
How is your diet? Sometimes nutritionists make it rather hard. In fact, it’s pretty simple. Eat more raw greens, colourful veggies, and fruits. Buy as little as possible packaged food, and drink lots of pure water. Homemade food prepared with love, and joy can do miracles. Start eating more fruits, and sweet root vegetables, and you will have fewer cravings for sweets.
I invite you to become curious about your relationship with food, and start treating your body with love and respect, as if you are feeding your baby. Of course, you want to feed your baby the most nutritious food. Why would that habit stop as you become older?
We need rest. Sleep is so essential for us to feel sexy and loving. Don’t underestimate its significance. They say that for our biological clock to be at its best, we need to go to sleep by ten at night, and get up by seven in the morning. This makes us feel thrilled about the new day, and more inclined to share our love with our man. Do you feel loving and sexy when you are tired? Make it a habit to go to bed by ten, in order to enjoy your dreams.
Sleep is far from a waste of time. It recharges our batteries, fills us up with patience and love, and allows our spirits to process each day’s events in a gentle manner. How well do you sleep? Do you keep to a nighttime routine?
Spending Time with Girlfriends
It’s amazing what the company of women can do for us. Have you tried a girls’ weekend away? It can do wonders. We nourish each other, and we fill each other with sensual, calm, and nurturing energy. Finally, talking about our feelings without someone else, trying to solve the problem. What a miracle.
Girlfriends are the best people to talk with, and unload our “stuff.” They listen, and know we just need to talk, and empty our heads. After we are nourished and cleansed, we have much more capacity to meet our men, and be ready for romance. Do you have a habitual catch-up session planned with your girlfriends? Why not plan one now?
Time Alone and Spiritual Practice
How do you feel after spending time by yourself? With our busy lifestyles, we often forget how good it feels to spend time alone, and connect with ourselves.
We need to have alone time to centre ourselves, and check what is happening inside. We need time to distance ourselves from our life’s everyday issues. We need time to see the bigger picture, to plug into the energy of the universe, and to sense the higher purpose of our lives.
Time with Nature
Fresh air heals our bodies, purifies us, and gives us so much energy. The sun energises us, increases our happiness hormones, and supplies our bodies with important vitamin D. The wind blows out destructive thoughts, and wakes up the sensuality of our skin. When was the last time you went out into nature?
Sensual Touch and Sex
“Sensory stimulation is a nutrient that the brain must have to develop and function normally.”
Make a “touching date” with your man. It’s better to agree that you won’t go into sex. Just caress each other, feeling the skin, and awakening your senses. Choose whose turn is first to receive and indulge in the feelings without trying to give your touch at the same time. Be totally selfish! Then, when it’s your turn to give, fully give, and enjoy giving. If you touch each other at the same time, it diffuses the intensity and doesn’t give so much pleasure. Try to be in a completely giving or receiving mode. This can feel very vulnerable and exciting; so explore!
We need sex. It’s not just about pleasure; it’s important for our well-being, and full enjoyment of life.
So, here are the 7 fundamentals to keep your feminine energy flowing. When you take care of yourself, you take care of your relationship. Not caring about yourself is selfish. You are less patient and have less to give.
“I Feel Like I Was Given a New Life.”
“I can’t believe my relationship with my husband changed so much! We are again in love just like we were 20 years ago, but now this feels so much deeper. Wow! Where were you before, Tarisha? I feel like I was given a new life.”Susan, Auckland, New Zealand
With a hug,
P.S. If you need help in seducing your partner back into love and passion, apply for a complimentary breakthrough session here www.deeplyinloveagain.com/breakthrough