Do you argue with your partner?

Or maybe you feel unsupported and disconnected?

A happy and loving relationship requires you to avoid a few key mistakes. And a loving relationship with lots of support is why you’re here, right?

Let’s take a closer look at the 3 key mistakes and what to do instead:

Mistake #1 – Jumping at blaming your partner for what doesn’t work

 

We see that things are not happening as we want them to and we start feeling victimised by what our partner does.

We blame him for not getting what we want.

We might even start thinking that we need to change our partner. We think, my needs are not being fulfilled therefore I’m with the wrong partner.

What To Do Instead

Ask yourself a question, how could I be contributing to the situation?

Maybe you don’t really let your partner know what you need?

Maybe you expect him or her to know what you need, to guess and go into thinking “if he/she loved me more, he/she would’ve known what to give me for my birthday”.

Ask for what you need.

Turn your blame into a request. Be clear and direct. He’ll appreciate it.

Mistake #2 – Expecting your man to listen empathetically without trying to solve your problems

 

Women love to talk and share everything with one another.

This is the way we get over any hurt or frustrations.

We talk it out. And we talk it out. And we talk it out.

The mistake we make, we expect our man to listen to all our problems and little, but very important to us, details of our lives. It drives men nuts!

They are here to solve problems, not to listen empathetically to all our issues without saying anything (oh, ah, you poor baby isn’t their natural response.)

What To Do Instead

Have a venting coffee date with your girlfriends.

Tell them everything that you are upset about. Your girlfriends have the capacity to just listen and pat you on the back.

And if you decide to share your problems with your man, allow him to contribute, to offer you a solution.

Because he loves you, he wants to help you out.

Yes, this is right.

He offers a solution because he loves you, not because he thinks you can’t solve it yourself.

It’s a torture for him to listen to your upsets without helping you out.Share with your partner what really matters to you, what you feel and what you desire.

Mistake #3 – Listening to your girlfriends

 

Our girlfriends definitely want to support us and be on our side.

The problem is, they don’t really know how to create deeply intimate relationship themselves. And when they support you in blaming your partner for what he did or didn’t do, they are not helping.

They are putting more oil into the fire and hold you hostage to your current situation. And what happens is that you continue to struggle in your relationship.

What To Do Instead

Ask someone who has created a wonderful loving relationship for themselves.

This is the key!

You need a new perspective from someone who knows what makes relationships thrive.

Once you get support from such a person, you can talk to your girlfriends to cleanse all your negativity and frustrations, but you won’t take their advice.

Because you’ll know better.

Know this: you’ve mastered the relationship game when you created a magical loving relationship for yourself.

 

 

Tarisha Tourok – Dedicated to helping you have the relationship you really want, giving you relationship tips that help you to solve your relationship problems.

Deeply in Love Again
Relationship counselling Auckland