How can working with your spouse or partner actually work and still have you both love each other in the end?
Let’s be honest, working in a business together with your spouse or partner is a pretty BIG ask. It is no small feat to be lovers, and co-owners of a business together, and then what about when you add kids to the mix as well …
How on earth do you manage all of that and still actually love each other at the end of the day enough to jump into bed together in a happy loving state?
Great question!
I can tell you that it is possible because that is what I have created in my life. I work alongside my husband full time and we have been in business together now for 13 years. We have 2 kids to add to the mix and I can honestly say that I am so happy and in love with my husband and my marriage.
Our love for each other gets stronger and stronger every year and I love creating a business and life with my husband.
It’s not always easy though, there are lots of challenges that come with working and living with your spouse, but to me it is more than worth it.
When I tell people that I work with my husband I get 2 different reactions….either they think that would be amazing and would love to know how to make that work, or they think that would be the worst thing in the world!
I think it is true, working with your spouse is definitely not for everyone! Some spouses may be great lovers, but that doesn’t always translate over into being great business partners as well!
For me I had always wanted to create this life. I couldn’t think of anything better than to work with my husband and create an amazing life and amazing business together – to be the ultimate team. Luckily he had the same idea, and so we have created this vision together.
Sound like what you want to create?
Then here are 5 tips to create an amazing life and business working with your spouse:
1. Set the expectations
First off you need to sit down and talk through your expectations of what you both see working together is actually going to look like, because I can guarantee you that you WILL both have different expectations and if these are not discussed upfront you’ll both be in for a big shock!
Setting expectations and making sure that you are both on the same page of what you expect is really important. Not doing this creates a lot of disagreements and arguments in any relationship, and when you are in business together as well it can put a fast end to it all.
We all tend to create these magical expectations of how we think something is going to unfold and what we expect the other person is going to do – when our own expectations are not in alignment with our spouses then you can find yourself in a situation where both partners are running in different directions and then get frustrated at the other person for not doing what they expect.
So sit down and talk about your expectations and talk about the shared vision that you want to create and get them in alignment so that you are both working as a team towards the same thing.
2. Open communication
Open communication is crucial in any successful relationship and when you are in business as well you need to be especially on top of having clear and open communication pathways because it is not just you that is involved but also your clients and your staff and contractors.
If there are any problems or issues that are brewing then deal with them before they blow up and get out of hand. Your husband is doing something that is getting on your nerves? Then talk about it and sort it out.
Normally a quick, open and respectful conversation about a small issue is going to deal with it immediately rather than letting it brew until you burst with anger and resentment.
Of course this needs to go both ways, so if you are doing things that are getting on your husband’s nerves then he should come and talk to you about it too to get it sorted.
3. Appreciate and make use of each of your differences
Which comes nicely to this…. appreciate the differences between you both and use them to your advantage in your business.
It seems to be true in my experience that opposites do attract. You are attracted to what you don’t have in your personality traits, which works well to start with in a relationship, but after a while it starts getting under your skin and causes problems in a relationship.
My husband and I are very different. He is a dreamer, and I am more a realist by nature. So when we started in business we would drive each other crazy! He would be coming up with way out there plans and then I would knock them down with everything that could go wrong. So we kept getting to a stale-mate position where we would get nowhere.
What we came to realise is that our differences is what makes us an absolutely awesome team, because in business (and life actually) you need both traits to be successful and move yourself forward.
You need that dreamer trait to come up with the grand vision and ideas to move the business forward, and you need the realist to show you the pitfalls to watch out for and work out how to avoid them.
Separately, you are missing important components, but together we complete an amazing team with everything we need to be successful. This goes with other traits as well; the differences can complement each other to create something amazing if you embrace it.
Plus we realised that we are together to learn from the other partner and get balance, so now I do dreaming and creating the big visions and ideas sometimes and my husband brings up the pitfalls that we need to be aware of sometimes because we have learnt off each other.
Respecting each other’s differences and seeing how you can actually work together and use those differences to your advantage instead of fighting against each other is really important in creating that amazing partnership.
4. Schedule out ‘Role’ Time
When you are married, and work together and raise kids together your ‘roles’ as wife, mother, business owner and you as an individual can get all blurred and mixed in together as one, but in order to satisfy each area of your life you actually need to be well aware of these very different and separate roles and have time to focus on each of them.
What I mean by that is that you as a business owner is very different to you as a wife or mother and having separate ‘role’ times ensures that all areas of your life are getting looked after.
If you are too much in the ‘business owner’ role then your marriage and family will start to suffer because you are focusing too much on the business.
So it is important to schedule in specific time in each area of your life every week. Have date nights with your husband or nights that you spend together specifically as husband and wife – making love, connecting and strengthening your relationship together.
Have time during the day or on the weekends where you spend quality time with the kids, and have time that is just for you as well.
Being together 24/7 with your spouse can be a bit full on at times and you need to remember to look after yourself as well. So schedule in time where you both have time separately to do whatever your want – to exercise, to read, to go out with friends, to take time just for you.
Having these separate ‘role’ times means that all areas of your life are going to get the attention that they deserve and need.
5. Remember you are partners
Lastly remember that you are partners! You are in this together, working on your joint business. Sometimes it is really easy to lose sight of this and then start arguing against each other for the sake of having things go your way. I know that during those rare times when my husband and I do have full on disagreements it is because we have lost sight of the fact that we are a team and we are working towards the same goal.
Sure we can have different opinions on how certain things should be done but when we are fighting against each other to achieve something it doesn’t work, instead when we come together and ask “How can we make this work together to move us forward?” we can always find a good solution that we are both happy with.
So don’t fight against each other, join forces and remember that you are in it together and that you are partners.
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Kim Baird from Amazing Business is a powerful business coach that transforms businesses with her unique approach. She looks at a business with a holistic approach – looking at a business as a whole and seeing where the missing gaps are that are holding the business back from its true potential.
To find out more about Kim and Andrew Baird and their services check out her Website: http://AmazingBusiness.com