The most attractive quality in a woman is vulnerability. Vulnerability goes very well with men’s drive to protect. It creates sexual polarity and we get attracted to each other as magnets.

Vulnerability is strength.

It is the ability to openly share how we feel, to lift the veil of our internal world. It can be terrifying to open up to someone, especially when they have hurt us. We often shut down when we feel hurt: shut down, turn away and become angry and resentful. We push down our feelings and present a brick wall to the world ‘no one can hurt me, I’m fine, I don’t depend on you’.

Then we exude repelling energy, pushing away those we love because it is hard to hold those pent up feelings inside. The only way we can suppress those feelings is to push our partner away.

Relationships get destroyed because of our fear to be vulnerable.

The conscious practice is when we feel pain and desire to run away, we turn towards our partner and open up our feelings without blaming him.

Here is what I feel. Here is who I am. You hurt me. I love you, I care about you, that’s why this is so painful.

Here is my story: we woke up, made love on the deck, sun shining bright. I felt loved, happy and very open. We decided to go for a swim and I was a bit slow trying to hang our washings. He got irritated; he hates to wait for me. I got very hurt, because the contrast was so dramatic. I pushed away my tears and felt resentment coming up. On the beach I caught myself pulling away from him and putting an armour around me.

With consciousness and courage I faced him, asked if we could talk and I told him, with tears in my eyes, that his irritation hurt me. It was not an easy thing to do, I tell you. I chose to turn towards him rather than do what my instinct told me – run away and protect. This brought more intimacy; he softened, said sorry and explained his point of view, how hard it is for him to wait.

Remember the last time you got hurt and what did you do? Is there a way you can be more open and vulnerable with your feelings? Feel the fear and resistance and do it anyway.

Tarisha Tourok
www.schoolforfemininemagic.com/breakthrough
www.schoolforfemininemagic.com/breakthrough

www.schoolforfemininemagic.com